Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Oh, what an enjoyable story to wake up to; Britney Spears had to be carried out of the men’s bathrooms of an LA Hotel Bar because she was vomiting uncontrollably over a toilet bowl, the vomit was pouring down the front of her, her make up was smeared and her (albeit fake) hair was a total birdsnest mess. The report suggests she was relentlessly vomiting all over herself; really just bringing up liter after liter of acidic bile and projecting it uncontrollably all over herself. Oh, well now that’s just lovely isn’t it? The legitimate news is always so bad and shocking but here is a lovely little break from that. It’s a story the entire family can enjoy. The report doesn’t mention the extent to which Brit Brit’s huge and shocking amount of half digested food (which she threw up all over herself in the men’s bathroom) got all over the floor though, so, we’ll wait for more information on that.

But, regardless, her smeared makeup and tattered hair mixed to a desperate look of quiet frenzied desperation all seem to point not only to her barreling toward a full on truck stop hooker aesthetic when it comes to fashion – prompted, perhaps, by a delayed homage to Anna Nicole Smith after her sort of recent death (God, it feels like a year ago with the massive lull in hourly coverage from TMZ.com).

Additionally, Britney was quoted as saying: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Things aren’t going well for me at the moment.”
They sure aren't!
And it’s only natural to assume that here she is referring to the recent concerts she sold tickets to in Florida and San Diego. The apology is a bit late but better late than never.

Also, it seems like what’s really happening here is Britney’s body is violently expelling the remnants of her old corporate self before it starts to rebuild itself and move forward to a slightly more edgy and at least vaguely human career. Hell, compared to her old corporately constructed public profile, becoming a marketing executive for a fur trade company would contain more evidence of human life. . [source]

1 comment:

Steven Mah said...

First Biatchezzzz.

Step off Brit Brit, the girl just out hav'n the town rumbl'n. She need tha release - respect the release.

Keep on releas'n Brit Brit, let it out carbface.