Friday, May 18, 2007

Today Extraordinarily Odd

Attempts to save the children in Hong Kong from the relentless violence and rape that feature so prominently in the Bible by a petition to have the book banned were turned down by Hong Kong’s media regulator. Consequently, not only with children in Hong Kong now remain unsafe from reading about rape and violence, they are also statistically more likely to grow up to be slightly more boring, frigid, controlling, and intolerant. [source]

A woman has failed to smuggle 17 kilos of heroin inside a fridge which she was planning on sending from Tajikistan to Russia via DHL. Sending drugs in the mail is one of those “separate the wheat from the chaff” type tests. You almost get away with it but then once they find out what’s inside the package – which they do for the most basic and obvious reasons – your return address is on the package isn’t it so it’s almost the equivalent of writing a nice little letter to the police saying who you are, what you’ve done and where you’re most easily contacted. But, then, this is the only way heroin smugglers learn. You have to put it in a balloon and shove it up your ass. Then fly there in person and sweat the whole way hoping it doesn’t break on the way. It’s just like reality TV or a suspense thriller in real life. [source]

One man from Minnesota was, apparently, so disgruntled about getting a parking ticket that he send the payment along with a steaming portion of dog feces. See, now, this is the same basic thing as what we’re talking about above with the woman who tried smuggling heroin in a fridge. The real downfall with protesting through something like the postal service is that once you’ve done it, they can find out exactly who you are rather easily because you've actually more or less told them. The slightly more hilarious part about this story is the added bonus information which actually describes what it was like for the woman who opened the envelope. Brown liquid got on her hands. Mmmm. Then she went to hospital, sick. It’s so visceral.[source]

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