US Weekly reports that Jimmy Fallon, who was so utterly hot on SNL but so annoyingly incapable of just doing a sketch where he didn’t fucking laugh all the way through, married Nancy Juvonen which essentially marks him as heterosexual. After he left SNL he did stack on a few kilos and probably has a muffin top.
I never really had an opinion on his sexuality either way but I know this producer, peripherally, who swears Fallon was always trying to get him to go away with him and always had these vibes about how Fallon was gay. It was never a clear cut situation where this producer I sort of know said, “He asked me to have sex.” Or anything. Now that I think about it it was just blow hard producer fodder coming from a person whose entire self worth is wrapped up in who he knows and can talk about. Sometimes people are so good at namedropping that you forget that name dropping is totally desperate and gauche and you buy into it.
So, here we are again with a story about something that has a mild mild chance of having any substance and because it’s the slowest news day ever I’m writing about it.
I’m actually writing this 3000 word profile of a fisting porn producer and it’s becoming complex and I’m procrastinating a whole heap on it. I always do anyway and I accept that procrastination is part of my creative process because writing is sort of like slowing drawing out your subconscious which can be painful. It’s only really painful for the first bit and then when you’re into it it’s ok and calming. It’s just getting through that initial barrier that can be hateful.
I just remembered this time I was out with these really fucked people in Australia and we wanted to get a drink so they suggested we go to this boating club next door to the Ritz Carlton. It was all wood paneling and dark carpet and suit jackets and we were like 22. I never really hung out with these people. I mean, I knew the girl from years before and my friend was about to move in with her - it was a coincidence. She had a generically hot boyfriend but they were only dating because he looked good on paper. They were the kind of people where that was enough to justify dating for like a year. I have no idea why we went there. Probably because the people I was with are trust fund douchebags and that’s the kind of place they felt at home. God, I have to get started on the next section of this profile. [source]