The New York Post reports that a photo of Anna Wintour that is making the rounds via the Conde Nast PR department has been heavily retouched to make her look younger. Oh wow, ok quick – let’s call the New York Times and make sure they know. Who would have THOUGHT? I mean, who would have thought that the head honcho of Vogue Magazine would want to ensure that she looks less flawed in the press, press which will no doubt document her legacy as one of the world’s most influential aesthetes.
I mean, if fashion is nothing else – and it isn’t – it is about the adornment of the outer layer. Consequently, news that suggests Anna Wintour has given instructions to people to enrich her appearance isn’t actually news. I don’t know if she’s had her face stapled or sewn up but if she had she would the most likely on my list of people after Tara Reid, Faye Dunaway and Amanda Lepore.
Still, I guess it’s always interesting to think that someone that powerful and stern could have a moment of soul crushing weakness that would prompt her to command that something be done about the appearance of bags under her eyes. Like, one morning she was sitting there and she saw her headshot and she charged out of the office leaving the photo in the trash. That would be a sign to her army of underlings to quickly see to it that all images be fixed. It’s all in the repressed tears. Plus, the underlings have learned to read her signs and also her mind. The parts she has unlocked for them. There are parts no one can get to, parts that Anna Wintour herself hasn’t even accessed. She has the ability to suck her tears back into her head apparently. That’s what someone told me and I’d believe them.
In other news, Pete Doherty doesn’t use deodorant. I mean, come ON! [source]