Monday, December 17, 2007

Variety is reporting that director John Singleton whose previous cinematic masterpieces include “2 Fast 2 Furious” and the relentlessly challenging "Poetic Justice" starring Janet Jackson is gearing up to direct and cast (hopefully not in that order) a big screen movie length feature remake of “The A Team”. They’re putting a modern spin on the film so it’s about oil tycoons and laser weapons or some crap.

Plus, they’ll probably get Mr. T to come out of hiding, don the jewels and stand behind a counter and serve burgers to the newly cast A Team and everyone in the audience will laugh in the same way that people laugh at jokes when you see a Shakespeare comedy; looking around the theatre to see who saw them laugh so they can gloat about getting the humour. "See, I got it even though the language is the play is so foreign to our daily dialect in contemporary culture, I got it!" God, I hate that. It’s just not ever really laugh out loud funny.
While there’s speculation about who will play who in this remake, the biggest question of all, ie.
“Why the fuck is this movie being made at ALL?” remains unanswered. We’re now in the same situation as we were with the remake of “Bewitched” and "Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles".

Who is waiting for this movie to be made?
Was there some massive market research campaign launched that said that there’s a surplus of people in the mid thirties who are stupid enough to want to see movie length remakes of 80s TV series because since the shows they watched as adolescents haven’t been on TV in literally decades they’ve basically done nothing at all? I mean, the Sex and the City movie franchise makes business sense because the series only ended a little while ago and there’s some kind of cultural resonance.
The A Team? Why the A Team?

I bet there’s a massive contingent of donut and bear eating, hunting cap, plaid shirt and overalls wearing white men who live in their parents’ basement at the age of 35 that are to blame for this kind of thing. I blame them. God, I totally blame them for this crap and so many other things too. Like, I sort of even blame them for the cold. [source]

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