Friday, December 14, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Wow, Brunei's Crown Prince Al-Muhtadee Billah is kind of a real douche bag. Here’s why. He’s one of the richest men in the world with his father apparently worth around 22 billion dollars so he can basically afford anything. He’s currently playing in the Southeast Asian (SEA) Games nine-ball competition which means he plays pool for a living. Ok, no big deal. To compete he’s staying at the Nakhon Ratchasima's Royal Princess Hotel and just spent a fortune to put a billiard table in his hotel so he could practice day and night. Plus, he’s moved in with his massively necessary entourage of cooks and assistants and security. Gosh, to think about it, wouldn’t it be crap to go to all that conspicuous effort and then not even need to stay at the hotel that long. I mean that would be so unnecessary, self aggrandizing and embarrassing. So, anyway, then he went and got disqualified from the competition in the pre-quarter finals. I mean, how many rounds did he even play? Gosh, how embarrassing. He’s like one of those kids who gets their parents to buy them a tank just because they’re thinking about going into the army. Which they never do. I wonder if he shouts abuse at his mother. [source]

An actual man in actual India has actually bitten and actual dog. It’s pure journalism! Pappan, a 65-year-old resident of the Quilon district 60km north of state capital Thiruvananthapuram, bit the dog after it attacked his duck on Wednesday, the Press Trust of India reported. Why is it that Indian people can’t seem to get a handle on how to normally interact with dogs? I mean, they stone them, marry them and now they’re biting them. Jesus, it’s just a dog. Get a freaking therapist. Like, now. India, get a therapist and talk about your childhood and the dogs featured in it. [source]

Ten years ago in Japan people over the age of 65 were committing 1/3 the crimes they are now. Nowadays it seems that they’re on a rampage. Apparently assaults by older people rose to 1,700 from just 100 and I would believe it. Old Japanese people are like small tanks. I mean the working class ones – particularly the ones who live in New York. What am I basing this on? Nothing really. But the image of a whole lot of old people in Japan holding up 7-11s makes me think of a genius idea for a film which is Cocoon meets Natural Born Killers meets manga. I feel like that might finally fill a niche that is desperately unfilled. [source]

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