Google co-founder Larry Page is marrying his girlfriend Lucy Southworth this weekend on Richard Branson’s private island in the Virgin Islands and he’s flying in 600 guests on private planes so they can attend.
Seeing as Page is apparently worth about 20 billion dollars, the entire thing is obviously destined to be one of the most extravagant events ever; guests are being flown in from all over the world and another entire island worth of hotels has been rented for them to stay in.
Even though this wedding is a huge extravagant money blowing deal and it sounds alright if you read the newspaper reports about it – especially the part about how Southworth is a biomedical informatics doctoral student at Stanford University so you know she’s not just some gold digging LA underwear model skank and that they’re at least partially on the same computer nerd level – just like Posh Spice, underneath all that spending there’s something that doesn’t quite spell “class”.
I just can’t shake the idea that after the marriage ceremony, Page and his close circle of friends, the circle that no doubt includes the skinny Asian guy who is scared of his parents, the fat porn obsessed Indian guy and the tall lanky white guy with floppy crazy big hair who has dreams of asking a girl out one day will all go to a special room that has posters of Cindy Crawford circa 1987 on the wall to play Nintendo wii while the other guests wander around looking for them. The guys feel pretty sure they won’t be found though. This underground lair is undetectable by all homing devices known to man.