Sunday, December 09, 2007

Week # 49 in Review

It was announced that pop star Britney Spears was the number one person researched on the Internet for the year according to online analysis and this week she proved to be no less noteworthy. In the week during which Spears turned 26 and had a small gathering of friends sing to her and then give her close to fifty thousand dollars worth of leather, fur and diamonds, she also failed to turn up to the shooting of the music video for her single “Piece of Me” and when it became apparent she was not showing up, her record company Jive Records began dressing the set so that one of their other artists could use it. As soon as Spears heard that this was happening she turned around and arrived on set 12 hours late. Later in the week Spears released a statement saying she had sent a letter to reality TV personality Paris Hilton requesting that Hilton start being nicer to her and her friends or she would release a lesbian sex tape of Hilton online.
Pop star Lindsay Lohan was reported to have broken up with her boyfriend Riley Giles and was then reported to have been sleeping with actor Heath Ledger. Apart from that Lohan was relatively innocuous prompting blogs to simply post pictures of her and talk about the size of her breasts.

Comedienne Sherri Shepherd spoke openly on The View about how in her understanding of history Christians historically pre-date everything and everyone and she later went on to say that she would not tolerate her own son wearing a dress at pre-school, the New York Post reported that Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos and his friend fell into a pool together and his friend required stitches as a result of the accident and Jody Foster essentially outted herself in a speech in Los Angeles where she referred to her partner Cydney Bernard as “my beautiful Cydney who sticks with me through all the rotten and the bliss”.

Cowboy from the Village People Randy Jones told the media that he remembered the parents of Paris Hilton, Kathy and Rick Hilton, scrambling around in the carpet at Studio 54 to find a rock of cocaine; a charge that they denied, Google founder Larry Page married his girlfriend Lucy Southworth on billionaire Richard Branson’s private island in the Virgin Islands in front of 600 guests who were all flown in on private jets, and while in Australia aspiring actress Tara Reid attempted to shop around her presence at various parties after she hosted the Hooker’s Ball in Darwin but had to lower her demand price from $35,000 to $3,500 due to lack of interest.

The driving instructor who appeared as himself in the Borat Film announced he was suing the production company on the grounds that he was misled about what type of film he was appearing in, former president Bill Clinton attended the Spanish Institute Gold Medal Gala dinner and was seated next to Editor of US Vogue Anna Wintour but swapped seats so he could sit next to actress Penelope Cruz, reality TV character Sharon Osbourne hosted a fundraiser for World AIDS Day and took off a ring worth 30,000 pounds so she could throw it from the stage into the crowd simply because she was having fun. Her daughter, Kelly Obsourne appeared shocked.
High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale announced that she was having a nose job entirely because of a deviated septum and not simply for aesthetic purposes, soccer star David Beckham bought 5 diamond bracelets; one for each of the Spice Girls as a good luck token before they began their world tour, and Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz talked on NPR about how he doesn’t consider himself straight as part of a discussion about gender in rock and roll.
In the UK the oldest Rolls Royce in the world, built in 1904, was sold at auction for 3.5 million English pounds and Meredydd Hughes, one of Britain’s most senior policemen was caught driving 30 miles an hour over the speed limit.
In Europe, Daniele Emanuello, one of Italy’s 30 most wanted mafia criminals was shot dead by police but not before he swallowed a piece of paper upon which was written the names and numbers of what was presumed to be a list of his closest allies, the Catholic Church decided to start promoting the sale of photos of saints and prayer that can be bought for cell phones while nuns in a Greek Orthodox church were found to have been duped by a collective of men who had taken over their garden and been using the Church’s garden to grow marijuana.
A giant species of cobra named the Naja Ashei that contained enough venom to kill 15 people was discovered in Kenya, while in Asia the world’s biggest Asian elephant had been missing for a year and was feared dead, an 8 month old boy was found to weight 41 pounds making him obese and in preparation for the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government put word out that it expects Chinese cab drivers to act as informants regarding any kind of drug use from now on.
In the US, a study found that chimps are more adept at short term memory tests than university students, the late billionaire Leona Helmsley’s dog Trouble, to whom she left 12 million dollars in her will, was receiving so many death threats that it was relocated to Florida via private jet, Christie’s auction house in New York was planning its first auction of liquor since prohibition was introduced and it was announced that professional daredevil David Blaine would be attempting to break the world record for staying awake.

“It’s been tried before,” he said. “In 1959, Peter Tripp stayed awake for eight days but it resulted in permanent brain damage.”

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