Tuesday, December 11, 2007

PETA have just launched their new website and myspace page dedicated to aggressively attacking every facet of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen because of their use of fur. They’ve put together a website and renamed the girls Hairy Kate and Trashley Olsen. Oh, genius.
Plus, the great part about the myspace site for the Trollsens is the way people have left startlingly honest comments underneath the graphic image of them.
Well done! Looks just like them. - “It’s Julie, Bitch”.
how accurate!! – “Christina”.
That actually just looks like them – “Brigitte”
How creative! It looks just like them!! Identical!!!Good job! (= - ♥»]åמ¡ løνës Lύis«♥ {Frøm Ørîgînål $mîlîng Gîrlz} – and we can only assume that all the shit in the letters means the person is currently tripping.
But, anyway, while wearing fur can be totally evil PETA always seems to be made up of the angriest, most aggressive schoolyard bully victims of all the different left wing civil rights groups and charity causes. They always come up with the most antagonistic and violent ways of insisting that everyone realize how antagonistic and violent the fur trade is. Protesting for a cause is always a great way to channel your hatred and anger of your parents or the person who beat you up at school because you can always feel like the cause is worthwhile and that your actions are justified. Whenever they launch a new campaign I feel like I learn more about their own abusive childhoods than the actual cause.
It’s like man hating lesbian vegans who sit at dinner and asshole at you because you’re male even if you’re gay. Actually, if you’re gay they just treat you as though you are a woman or they treat you as though you’re a straight bully jock and blame your for their abused childhood. The amount of times I’ve had to be at dinner with women who argue that all problems stem from men and the patriarchy is astounding. But sometimes it’s just so annoying to hear that I can’t get away. I just can’t get away from it.
Plus, this one time I was doing market research about cigarettes and this self righteous hippy girl who was studying for an arts degree walked into the room wearing a second hand brown crocheted poncho and complained that there weren’t any whole wheat bread sandwiches and she also proudly exclaimed that she had never smoked a tailor made cigarette in her life. God, she was begging to be slapped in the kisser. Pow! Right in the Kisser.

So much angst, so little therapy. Ok, sure. Why not aggressively destroy the characters of the Olsens? What will they notice anyway. They’re sort of dead on the inside. Maybe that’s why they wear fur – to keep the hissing coal that burns within them from going out. Yeah, no idea how that would work either but I just like the idea that they have lumps of hissing coal instead of souls. [source]

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