Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Another stunning, face explodingly shocking surprise relating to the Spears family: People Magazine has just reported that the release of Britney’s mother Lynn Spears’ new book “Pop Culture Mom”, which chronicles her experiences raising two girls that work in the spotlight, has been delayed indefinitely.

The great thing about this is the you know the reason she has to delay the book is because it was full of all these completely fraudulent anecdotes about how stern and strict she was in instilling morals and a sense of grounding into her children. It probably reeks of contemporary spa culture spirituality and Dr. Phil logic that would probably have sold to the Oprah demographic really well prior to Britney’s relentless descent into the firey pits of unraveled Hollywood product madness.

“I worked hard to keep my daughters grounded in those delicate early years. When Britney was 7, for example, she really wanted to buy a pony and I thought she was just trying to be like a character she saw on TV so I took her to a farm and made her volunteer to shovel horse manure and take care of some ponies. Well, she wasn’t so keen after that. It’s that kind of thing that has made my family strong. We live and work through things together. Britney and I also share a love of organic tea and butterflies and we spend a little time each night writing in our gratitude journals together.”

When in reality, you know that from ages 7-15, Britney and her mother only spoke through press secretaries and Britney was already heavily medicated for diet related ADHD and a nervous disorder that stemmed entirely from having an emotionally absent yet aggressive show mother whose impossible standards could never be met. I kid. What do I know? [source]

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