Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Celebrity Madness

Michael Lucas, freshly immersed in the fall out from the high profile flop that was his porn remake of La Dolce Vita, is conveniently bickering (via the New York Post) with an ex employee who is writing a book about the extent to which he is a total sham. He's, of course, totally horrified at the negative attention and everyone's probably just dying to find out what he'll do or say next. [source]

While Larry Birkhead shops for baby clothes in LA, it seems like maybe this is the white trash celebrity version of the Scooter Libby hearings. Has it all already been worked out prior to the public trial which, let's again take a chronically wild guess about - the rights to which are being bought Entertainment Tonight? Larry gets the kid/money and Howard gets the house and boat, neither say anything until after the trial, Entertainment Tonight drags it out into a 6 month series of EXCLUSIVES and at the end the two pocket half the check each. [source]

Simon Cowell beckons for control freak closet case, Ryan Seacrest to come out of the closet in a smile covered venom spitting contest on American Idol. There’s no way Seacrest is coming out of his cash lined closet anytime soon – he’s just premiered a new reality show that panders to the lowest common denominator. [source]

Jessica Simpson is looking into getting herself a kid – but not in the figure ruining way. She wants to follow along in the footsteps of other celebrities who buy kids and show them off at parties.

Tyra Banks gets an Emmy Nomination for her insanely narcissistic, lowest common denominator, trash pandering crap fest talk show. Maybe that’s what happens when you parlay every skerrick of media attention into hour long “confronting the rumour/gossip about me” episodes. Her audience loves her for the simple reason that they feel like she’s getting back at everyone who beat them up in high school too. Way to capitalize on predictable fear. [source]

David Beckham and family are moving into Meg Ryan’s old house in Bel Air and he is also about to make a cameo appearance in The House of Sand and Fog. Why is it so difficult to shake the feeling that Posh actually controls everything he does? Like, why the fuck is a man who can barely talk moving into acting?

Lindsay Lohan’s father is released from prison and says that he wants to mend his ways with the Li Lo. She’s his daughter after all, and she’s worth a whole lot more than she used to be and isn’t it his turn now anyway seeing as the mother has had a ride?

The two things a rich housewife like Candy Spelling is bound to react to in a way where actual emotion is evident (even in LA) are inheritance (see Tori’s excommunication) and the ego gratification attached to the continuation of her own bloodline. Consequently, it’s no surprise that Candy Spelling put down the knives and called off the dogs the moment she heard Tori had given birth to a son, Liam Aaron McDermott.

1 comment:

Chad's Pad said...

Oh my God, Tyra Banks is just the worst type of person ever. And I do see Howard KKKK Stern selling the tv and print rights. What slime.