The Reluctant Whore

Because they have such a clever PR firm - a firm that no doubt takes its cues from the people who handled Tom Cruise before he decided to start the slow process of career suicide by letting his real personality out unfiltered, the amount of money spent on what by the military is never something that clearly sits on the forefront of public consciousness.

Suffice to say, it's a lot.

Now, it appears, the people who come up with ideas and run with them are from the same place O J Simpson is from - the planet where the word "no" doesn't exist.

Case in point: Through what must have been a leak, it's been reported that the Navy is currently funding the development of a super weapon that can go through walls and when it hits someone it makes them vomit.

On one side of the argument it's great to see the Navy kids trying something that won't eventuate in limbs missing or children having their clothes burnt to their skin but that still enforces an ideology as effectively. What can be more incapacitating than uncontrollable vomiting?

And let's face it, it's bound to raise troop morale too because, when it's not you, what can be more hilarious and entertaining than a whole lot of foreigners uncontrollably vomiting? That's right, nothing. Plus, there's nowhere NEAR as much muck to clean up afterwards.

But, on the flip side - did they really need to invest the no doubt millions of taxpayers dollars in a weapon like this when Star Jones now has her own show on Court TV?

Doesn't it make sense to just pop in a tape of the new show and push play before the enemies get home . Then when they do get home they'll walk in, put their keys on the counter and see her narcissistic carcass spewing synthetic schmultzy bullshit with no irony whatsoever for a full hour and the nausea and vomiting should happen immediately.

With the money the Navy saves, they could even spring for a jacuzzi.