Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Celebrity Madness

Is P Diddy maddeningly obese all of a sudden? Let’s all hope so. However, while there’s no way to tell for sure seeing as the link on this source (not the one on the left - the one from below) shows only one photo of him sitting and they could have done anything to the photo to milk a mindless story out of it – he does look rather rotunned except his face is still more or less angular. Hip hop fashion is fundamentally inspired by the attire prisons make their prisoners wear – ie. really baggy and shapeless because if you aesthetically link yourself to the credibility of doing hard time it doesn’t mean you have a social disorder and an inability to operate like a functioning person in society, it means you are really macho and tough. Maybe he’s just fashionably macho and tough. So, while this entire story is nothing more than speculation with no solid fact basis; to recap: he may be chronically obese and…while we’re at it, near death. Yes, he might be near death too. A FAT related death. Right. That appears to clear that up. Next course PLEASE! [source]

Britney goes out and is photographed weighing less than she did when she went into rehab. Her skin also apparently looks good after numerous facials which is reassuring news seeing as she paid a mint to stay at Promises Center and it would be terrible to think that these high end rehab places are just complete scams that form part of an elaborate and ultimately exploitative part of the celebrity PR machine. How genius of TMZ to speculate about her full recovery. While it’s clearly far to early to tell if she’s functioning again, and – judging by the extent to which she flipped out, she probably will improve in increments not in one big leap just because of a few facials and a couple of shots of wheatgrass- if she IS substantially better they can run with that story and if she messes up in the public eye and drinks (shock horror) they can report on a bigger downfall. [source]

Eminem and his sometimes wife, Kim Mathers publicly state that they will stop bickering about how much they hate each other both in front of their 11 year old girl and everyone else in the world via the media. This, of course, doesn’t include Eminem performing songs from his catalogue that include clear descriptions of how he would like to kill Kim in various extremely violent ways. Because, cutting off that would cost record companies money. So, in conclusion, in the interests of the child, Eminem can only get on stage and express his wishes of violence toward Kim Mathers in front of thousands of people all over the world and also his previous professional recordings of these songs can still be sold all over the world but they just can’t say it in person in front of the kid or to a reporter. DONE. [source]

No comments: