Monday, April 28, 2008

“Working out and dieting and eating boring food. I can’t go to the barbeque spot,” is the fragmented quote, nay – pearl of ordained insight – we are delivered from Mariah Carey’s mouth to our eyes and ears this morning and aren’t you just thrilled to know that she’s feeling some kind of annoyance?

I mean, especially after everything she’s done for culture. Oh, that was just mindless.

So, basically, Mariah Carey used to be quiet planetary in size and now she’s trimmed down to the bullshit and is apparently the same size and weight she was at the age of 17. That’s quite notable considering she’s 37. She’s effectively forcing her body into complying with her planet sized ego so that even though 20 years have passed, she’s still reasonably expecting to be the same size as she was when she was an adolescent. I refuse to believe surgery was no involved.

Last week, after her triumphant performance on Good Morning America which had to have ended with the beheading of one of her backup dancers immediately backstage after she was forced to reprimand one of them in the middle of the performance, she arrived at the Empire State Building which is literally outside my office door. I went down and actually waited for her. There were these douche bag thug idiot guys standing around on street corners holding up signs promoting her albums and then about three black SUVs pulled up one at a time – with about 15 minutes in between each. Each time, two or three totally unfamous diva wannabes got out and trotted about soaking up the crowd adoration even though no one knew who they were. I am almost entirely certain they were publicists.

When Mimi arrived in a black Maybach, a dowdy looking middle aged woman climbed into the front seat and I can only assume she was a makeup artist hired to check Mimi’s face and to wipe away any stains. The make up artist got out and Mimi finally exited the car.

People screamed, I saw her for like zero minutes and then she was gone. One thing I did notice was the she looked happy. She looked pretty happy to be thin again. Here are some of the shots I took:


1 comment:

ArchNoble said...

It looks like a pretty decent crowd, considering that they're adults who shouldn't be standing out there in the middle of the afternoon on a workday in the first place.

Also: How tall are you?! You're obviously holding the camera above your head, but even the people around you aren't matching your reach. Good work.