Monday, April 07, 2008

Jennifer Lopez has asked Tom Cruise to be godfather to her twins.

Ok, I had this inkling that J Lo was the contemporary Joan Crawford when she spent several million dollars on the space in which she was meant to give birth and then charged 6 million bucks for the rights to the first photos of them. She actually made profit from having kids. This confirms it.

Despite the fact that her weird assed husband Marc Antony is legitimately concerned because they’re both Catholic and Tom Cruise is a freakish delusional cult member, she’s pushed ahead with the weird union. I actually think Marc Antony is the sane one in that marriage but he’s so completely beaten down by J Lo’s gargantuan ego and relentless cunnilingual demands that he’s sort of like that character played by Bruce Willis in Death Becomes Her. Except that the amount of ego in J Lo is equal to the amount of ego in both the Goldie Hawn character AND the Meryl Streep character and those two weren’t even vaguely human.

I think it’s safe to say that there would be no Scientology without Tom Cruise. I mean, he’s the head of United Artists and as a result the only reason the swarms of vulture like narcissistic celebrities like Leah Remini, J Lo, Will Smith, Kirstie Alley and John Travolta are involved is for the networking potential.

J Lo made the startling discovery that having kids was far more lucrative than making films and actually trying to have a career so she’s bitten the bullet and gone in for the soul sell.

And that means that if J Lo is the contemporary Joan Crawford, Tom Cruise is the contemporary, bipolar Satan who stands at the crossroads and makes deals with people in a Faustian plot that happens in real life. He doesn’t appear in an explosion of fire though, in a red lycra jumpsuit with a red tail and horns. Well, not unless he’s coming straight from a circuit party.

By selling her kids to Tom Cruise and the media, J Lo might JUST have a career yet. [source]

No comments: