Thursday, April 24, 2008

US FHM has just released their list of the sexiest women of 2008 and look, the fact is, I’m not going to pretend I care any more than on some basic theoretical level but aside from that, the list has a few interesting inclusions.

The top ten are more or less obvious:

1. Megan Fox

2. Jessica Biel

3. Jessica Alba

4. Elisha Cuthbert

5. ScarJo

6. Emmanuelle Chriquri

7. Hilary Duff

8. Tricia Helfer

9. Blake Lively

10. Kate Beckinsale

I’m fairly certain that Hillary Duff is only on that list because she has a blood thirsty, inhumanly focused publicist who beat the editor into submission demanding that Duff be included in the list. Duff’s people have been desperately trying to convert her to a sexually realised adult for the past year by leaking morally acceptable but sexually charged stories about how she’s been acting in public with her long term boyfriend with whom she is in a monogamous relationship. “They were seen drinking champagne and making out in a booth…”

Oh, shit, wow. Quick – she’s such a sex beast now.

Also Britney Spears made the list even it if it was the bottom number despite …well, everything she’s done over the past year which does, if you’ll remember, include menstruating through her panty-hose when she was wearing no underwear. Mmmm, how inviting and helpful of her. I think that is actually pretty impressive. DEspite all that she's still ranked as nationally hot.

The other great thing about this list is that, like a lot of macho bravado saturated American cultural entities, it claims this is the ranking of the hottest women in the world, except that every country that owns a franchise of the FHM product does their own list. Consequently, it's not the entire world, it's just for the US. England has it’s own list that actually includes Avril Lavigne. It’s for that reason that I will never consult UK FHM when I need information on hot women. I mean, I already figured that they were going to be this lame ass self hating magazine filled with short, acidic articles about where to get the best curry at 1am when ALL the bars in London shut and you’re tanked on lager but I mean, Avril Lavigne? Jesus.


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