Wednesday, April 23, 2008

First Stepford Wife Laura Bush and daughter Jenna (the blond one) went on Larry King last night to talk about Jenna’s upcoming marriage and Laura Bush confirmed that she would never be interested in running for president or for a seat in the Senate.

Obviously, the question here was prompted entirely by the fact that that’s what Hillary Clinton did.

It’s interesting that Larry King even asked the question – usually there’d have to be some kind of pretext for it. Like, say, if Laura Bush was capable of something besides the requisite Republican wife role.

Of course she’s not ever going to run for president. At heart, she’s a busy suburban housewife. The vicious, ambitious people in that family are the older Bushes. Barbara and George H W Bush run the show. Laura is a pie baking librarian. She has a Masters Degree in Librarian Science. I many ways she’s the perfect Republican wife because her profession requires her to whisper a lot.

So, essentially, the difference between Hillary Clinton, who is capable of a Senatorial or presidential role and Laura Bush who isn’t, is that Hillary Clinton has to chain herself in at night in case she lets her guard down and her blood thirsty carnivorous single minded quest to rule the universe takes over and finally literally bursts out of her skin so it may tear down the street leaving only mayhem and apocalyptic ruin in it’s suddenly unfocused path.

Laura Bush, on the other hand, has finally managed to get all the White House books in order (with the help of her lovely staff of course), having personally overseen the installation of the Dewey Decimal system. That, and she is hoping to win a small town pie baking contest which she was advised to enter under a false name to ensure that if she did win it would be on merit.

She’s particularly good at blueberry pie.


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