Friday, April 25, 2008

The Sun Times reports that Lindsay Lohan thinks her mother’s new reality show - the one that follows the younger Lohan meal ticket and the mother as they attempt to get the kid famous so the mother can live vicariously through the kid while the kid has a slow but sure nervous breakdown – it a "really toxic" idea.

Well, yes. That’s totally true. But then where would the Lohan family be without "really toxic" things keeping them in the public eye after Lindsay's fame got them there in the beginning? They’d be nowhere. They’d just be another freaking white trash family with divorced parents who squabble like zoo-mania stricken meerkats. Really scratching each other’s eyes out and squealing all the time. The neighbours would be horrified and would complain by banging on the wall but it wouldn’t stop them. Meanwhile the girls would be sexually active at 12 and the boy, Dakota – in reaction to the abuse he receives at school simply because of his ridiculous name, would end up both selling and on drugs.

Lohan should thank her lucky stars for drama and toxicity.

Mind you, for Lohan herself to point something out as being toxic takes some god damned work. I mean, JESUS, that shit must be violently crippled with disease. Paradoxically, that’s what will make it work SO well and will encourage me, personally, to watch it. Otherwise who cares what the Lohans do? They just need to bicker and be totally ludicrous people on TV – just like Spencer Pratt. When you have no real talent, ludicrous toxicity pays.

Excellent work, Lohan family. Please continue to deliver us with your unique brand of fine fine art. For Western culture would sink without it. [source]

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