Friday, April 11, 2008

The New York Post is reporting that casting calls for Paris Hilton’s new fascinatingly vital and important reality show “Paris Hilton is my BFF” were held and everyone who turned up was ass you’d expect.

"It looked like Barbie threw up in there," said our spy. "All the girls looked like versions of Donatella Versace. They all had bleached blond hair, too-dark tans and were wearing tight, shiny dresses. All the guys that were there were gay. The whole thing was so bizarre."

And you know, I can so completely imagine the type of skanks that turned up to that crap. It would have been a sea of the most high maintenance tuna America has to offer.

Oh GOD, just the thought of trying to do this cultural travesty justice by tearing it apart adequately is exhausting and not just because I didn’t get home until 5 am this morning.

The fact that Paris Hilton is still actually getting work after Larry King and the crippling failure of “the Hottie and the Nottie” baffles me. Now I know why. There really is a core contingent of delusional, status crazy idiots who subscribe to her.

They have to be stupid. No thinking person buys into it. Only stupid retail queens and high school girls would be buying into this crap. It’s interesting the correlations between the teenaged girl demographic and the bottom of the barrel gay demographic. They both like the same basic things and they both balance a sense of insanely insecure delusional status crazy entitlement with a fundamental inability to see past the end of their noses.

I can absolutely see the type of gay man that would go and line up to become Paris Hilton’s best friend. They’re the 18 year old high maintenance bitch kid who wears huge Dior sunglasses with the brand as visible as possible, they have a planet of attitude and they talk about how, at work, in the shop, when they want something they get it “ like THAT” . Plus, they all have fat insecure straight fag hags who are borderline Goths and they’re all looking for that person to settle down with forever. They’ve had their fill of relationships at 17 and now, at 18 were looking long term.

See, I’m already so damn tired.

Fuck you Paris God Damned Hilton. Stop doing anything. I just need her to age 10 years right now so she’ll stop. God, she’s such a fucking ruiner. I’m totally watching that show. No doubt about it. [source]

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