Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Gatecrasher reports that David Hasselhoff tried to pick up a woman after a filming of “America’s Got Talent’” by signing a headshot of his, putting his number on it and sending his assistant to give it to her.

The woman apparently was seen later laughing about it at the bar.

What the hell was wrong with that woman? Didn’t she know who she was dealing with? I’m astonished. Oh, there’s an obvious explanation: she was either a lesbian or a rape victim.

Also, there’s all this noise outside on Fifth Avenue and I’m not sure but it could very easily be the DJ AM remix of Mozart’s Ave Maria which I’m assuming will be the theme song to the Pope’s visit. I’m assuming that because after all the paederast unpleasantness the Catholic Church has really got to kick it up a notch to keep the kids interested in its archaic, superstitious freakishness.

I read in the New York Post this morning that the Pope is going to be parading down 5th Avenue in the Pope Mobile sometimes this week so I’m really thrilled. I hope that he’s wearing those ridiculous red Prada patent leather loafers. They’re dreamy. Particularly when you couple them with to his relentlessly sinister, freakish eyes that seem to scream “ I really was a member of the Hitler Youth”. Because, let’s face it, he was. Why can't Peter O'Toole be the actual Pope? I find him more comforting than Benedict.

So, I’ll be watching and waiting. I really hope his parade this week doesn’t get in the way of me getting Pinkberry if so choose I.

In short, David Hasselhoff is a smooth operator and it’s unfortunate that his latest target was clearly a rape victim or lesbian or both. Also, the Pope is due outside my office any day now and so I’m almost unable to think properly in anticipation. [source]

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