The Reluctant Whore

On Thanksgiving morning Martin Luther Jackson, 31 decided to enrich his children's lives by attempting to force his wife into their oven, no doubt against her will, in front of them. His wife escaped with only minor head injuries.

Perhaps the marijuana in his possession brought out the fact that he was desperately unhappy for not marrying Sylvia Plath and he was reduced to trying to re-enact her death, perhaps he was consumed by the delusion that he had access to a more kitchen oriented version of the land of Narnia. Yes, it's safe to conclude that it was more than likely one of those explanations. Only.

Either way he was arrested of course, because at the end of the day he's totally insane.