After drinking a sufficient amount of "grain alcohol" (which, of course, is Russian peasant for unmarketable bathroom distilled vodka which may or may not double as tractor fuel/amputation strength antiseptic fluid/pig dip so you know he was borderline clinically dead) a Russian man driving a vehicle named a "Muscovite" did what anyone would do when faced with a policeman planning to confiscate their car - he swallowed his keys. However, the policeman, unwavering in his professional duty to public's well-being (as Russian police are famous for) went to grab the keys from the mouth of the drunk man and was promptly bitten.
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