Tuesday, November 14, 2006

About a year ago two pandas were married in Thailand. It was a big deal because pandas are the celebrity of the bear world. International media covered it, there was an ice cake with fruit in it and a whole lot of pageantry. Well, apparently those married pandas are now getting into watching panda porn so they'll procreate. It's not bestial porn as the Washington Post described it because, as anyone knows, bestial porn involves an animal and a person and this panda porn only features pandas.
Admittedly they're thin, tanned and surgically enhanced pandas with a flashy smile that they think hides the desperate emotional need that lingers within them. That dark, crippling loneliness that comes from years of neglect as a child that has led them to need a bump of coke just to get out there and smile. No one likes a sad porn actor. They know to keep it perky or they're finished and then, who will love them? Who?
So, anyway - hopefully the pandas will finally consumate and have a cub.

Because there's nothing more delightful than a panda cub.

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