Friday, November 24, 2006

Organisers of the always elegant World Pie Eating Championships have changed the rules of competitive pie eating so now it's about how fast you eat a pie, not how many you eat. Also, vegetarian options are included.

Not surprisingly, the small town folk who love a highly ritualised and exhibitionist emotional overeating are up in arms.
Genius quote from outraged local competitor:
"They've taken things too far this year -- pies are supposed to be meat and potato and anything else just isn't normal," added painter Dave Smyth, 48, who won the first contest in 1992 by eating four pies in three minutes.
In an attempt to placate the completely understandable rage at this blatant disruption of normality felt by competitive eaters, a local participant delivers a sparkling diplomatic quote:
"I realise this may be controversial, but this is the way forward for pie-eating at this level," said Tony Callaghan, the owner of Harry's Bar in Wigan, where the annual competition is held.
People always hate a revolutionary in the beginning.

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