Friday, November 24, 2006


The Race to Become Most Unpleasant European Nation in which to Celebrate Christmas 2006

In what is apparently becoming a nationwide campaign across England to squeeze every single drop of potential enjoyment out of Christmas, the City Council of Tower Hamlets in London's East End has banned all Christmas decorations for safety reasons and to cut down on electricity.

In defense of its decision kill employee morale by implying that people who run a small town aren't capable of hanging a string of tinsel, the council issued a quote that could only ever come from the kind of micro managing, passive aggressive control freak, probably fat, gray polyester wearing suburban English administrator who has bad skin and problem getting dates that is drawn to working in small town public service in a mortality realising, panic stricken, last ditch, mid to late 30s effort to amount to something before they die a single failure or before their parents die of chronic disappointment:

"There's a concern people might hurt themselves trying to attach hanging decorations from the ceiling. Christmas lights use a relatively small amount of electricity but every effort counts in reducing energy waste."

But when you remove all inklings towards rational adult logic and completely give in to a totally unreasonable fear of being alive, they're probably right.

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