Thursday, November 09, 2006

Celebrity Madness

The nation's sincere loathing of Kevin Federline seems to have even surpassed its statistically provable loathing of Republicans. Consider: Booed off stage, lame chart debut despite months of promo, The View opens with a sketch entirely based around an estrogen fueled celebration of the divorce. But why stop there? HEARING about the divorce through text message while being filmed for television (to cut to the moment of impact skip to 1:35), the divorce itself, the pre-nup...Want more? Britney's weight loss, his apparent emotional weight GAIN. Still - his is gearing up for a fight. Bless him.

The lesser known Baldwin brother is arrested for stealing a car. Perhaps he just wants someone to notice. Also, will one less Baldwin on the streets really make any kind of noticable difference?

Just in case we'd forgotten because it got "repetitive", Ted Haggard is still as his name suggests. But, he's on the spiritual mend. This is all great news because, of the two ways it can go - both are going to be disturbingly brilliant to watch. If Ted Haggard fails ex-gay therapy (and gee, let's all hold our breath...) the ex-gay movement will undoubtedly suffer a public blow to its legitimacy which is, of course, great news. If Haggard really does get brainwashed into thinking he's no longer gay then watching him feign heterosexuality will be horrifyingly bizarre and therefore extremely entertaining for everyone else ANYWAY.
Who would have thought a mean spirited self loathing control freak weirdo could provide the general public with such a win win situation?

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