The Reluctant Whore

The smallest, still living pre-mature baby was born on October 24, 2006 and weighed just under 10 ounces (283.5 grams) and measured 9.5 inches (24.13 cm) in length when she was born. She went home this week still the size of a pen, according to this news report.

Look, great that she's alive, horray, so excited, wow, what a nice lack of death ...etc but, "a pen"? Is that not just the most unimaginative metaphor ever used?

"Oh look, there's a pen in front of me...I'm on deadline...I can't spend time thinking of interesting comparisons - although, I can clearly spend time deliberating like this though - hell, just say the kid is as big as "a pen"."

So, pen-kid went home. When you look at the photos, it's also important to point out that the kid's feet look like gummi feet. Granted, they look like gummi feet colored with organic, natural colors not the stark blinding red of your average gummi feet but they are STILL gummi feet.

Is it too soon to say that perhaps this kid is in fact an elf? Not at all. Is this just the government's nervous way of covering up the fact that elves live among us? Yes, it definitely is.