Monday, February 26, 2007

Celebrity Madness

It is revealed that Al Sharpton's ancestors were slaves, owned by the descendants of sexual harrasser and all round right winger, Strom Thurmond. Meanwhile, Mit Romney's descendants were polygamist Mormons and that's hilairious because he has a vehemently anti-polygamist political platform. See? Celebrities DO represent humanity better than humans can. They are not just people. They are living symbols of progress and conflict.

The Academy Awards happen. Jennifer Hudson contains the self composure of a normal person but she's still a solid performer who pretty much does outshine Beyonce. Hudson should not have beat Adriana Barraza. Forrest Whittaker's speech is freshingly human. Helen Mirren loses her mind at the very end of her speech. Martin Scorsese gets an oscar and everyone swells with pride. Eddie Murphy storms out in a huff when Allan Arkin beats him.

Because cinema - as a cultural medium - has no more room for James Cameron to equate himself with God on some level, he moves to documentary film making and attempts to prove that Jesus Christ had a son. Religious scholars are skeptical but the Post still runs "breaking news" story which indicates that the mission has been accomplished.

Peter O'Toole is old. Hugh Hefner is also old but he is getting secretly married.

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