Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Vh1 reports that in actual fact, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are worth millions from simply running around being douchebags and selling out. Their entire lives are spent being the embodiment of the lowest common denominator in western culture and it’s paid off. This report was actually published on the 5th so it’s not exactly new but I put my lateness in talking about it down to the fact that I actively avoid stories that involve these two. Heidi still wants to be an actress though. She wants to win an Academy Award and being like Meryl Streep but with better tits. That was what SHE actually said.

Ah, no. Meryl Streeps breasts are just fine. That's enough.

Thinking about them and talking about them really only enables them but it appears that it’s already too late. They’re like Ann Coulter and Michael Lucas.

Who is buying into them though? If they’re making money off club appearances and some rancidly cheap fashion line – WHO is buying? My guess is that it’s 13 year old girls who hate themselves and want a boyfriend like Spencer. There are all these weird people who desperately lack any critical facility in their brains and so they long to be Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag so I guess it’s them. I wonder if there’s a continuum between Montag/Spencer and gay men somehow. Generally there is if there’s an interest in a product among 13-15 year old girls then there’s a contingent of gay men who buy into it as well. I’d say there are probably a collective of idiot gay male bitch kids who are about 17-22 who want to be like Spencer and Heidi in some way. Whether they like the surgery and the LA blond thing or they like the constant press attention or the seemingly ruthless business inkling that Spencer has – they are the ones who enable.

Everyone else hates them and I doubt that hate translates to actual dollars. I mean, you don’t hate Heidi Montag for being a willfully mindless, fake, subservient Republican woman and then buy her fragrance or t shirts. Although, you can hate fuck a Republican so I don’t know, maybe there’s something more complex going on here. I remember writing about that during the Democrat National Convention last election. Gosh that was a difficult time. Everyone was comatose as am I now that I’ve actually done a post about Montag and Pratt again. [source]

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