Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The New York Post reports that Elliot Spitzer has just been awarded the Ultimate Sugar Daddy Award as part of the first Annual George Burns Memorial Sugar Daddy Award by the VIP Men’s Club in Chelsea. His prize includes a pound of sugar, a year’s worth of free lapdances at the club, and an unlimited supply of testosterone pills. Errr…what a prize…yay!

The part about this that was interesting to me was actually the list of other honorees. It’s an auspicious list that includes Woody Allen, Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Hugh Hefner and Bill Maher. All are men who apparently “have a penchant for women 20 years or more their juniors."

The club goes on to describe that "Sugar daddies are an icon of baby boomers - older men who use their money shamelessly to date younger women in a perpetual search for the fountain of youth,"

Which is probably true when it comes to everyone but Cruise. HE dates women in a perpetual search for marketability in the fly over states and to kill those “uncomfortable feelings inside”.

Tom Cruise is really loving himself sick right now for being on that list. Any money says that right now he’s at home excitedly jumping up and down while intermittently smacking his head on the wall saying “all my work is finally paying off…they truly believe me…they truly believe that I like women”. And of course, his publicist would have sent the VIP club in Chelsea a box of cannoli and an earnest note asking that Tom be included and they finally conceded. After all, there are a whole legion of women who still entertain the notion that Cruise has a functioning sexual identity in general let alone the fact that they still believe he likes women. Why not cash in in the fly over states?

I would really hate to see Tom Cruise on testosterone though. Unless he was used as a weapon. Juiced up Tom would be insane. It would be as fascinating as a spider that was given LSD. They spin spherical webs, you know. They just keep on going and it works out as a perfect sphere. It’s incredible. [source]

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