Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Page Six is reporting that Capitol Records have been funneling their resources into up and coming young starlet Katy Perry and that means they’ve been diverting from Lily Allen to do it and that has made little Lily Allen a bit upset. And look, why wouldn’t she be?

This move from Capitol has certainly come as a shock to me and I’m sure it has come as a shock to Allen. What on earth could have prompted them to push her aside and try and continue to exist as a business by creating a new product?

Why, it couldn’t possibly be the relentless failure of Allen to actually just complete a tour without canceling shows. It also couldn’t be the fact that she seems inherently incapable of attending an event outside her home (and frankly, I wouldn’t rule out INSIDE her home either) where she doesn’t completely obliterate herself on booze and cause a totally unnecessary scene.

Plus, she’d be upset because what the hell else would she do? Her talk show failed because she wasn’t “very good” at presenting it and she hasn’t done anything else besides whine on her blog about being fat. Maybe she could go and write for Cosmopolitan Magazine. Or get a job in a theme park as a blow up doll. Yeah, I don’t know what that last bit was about either but I’m going to leave it.

Where’s Pete Wentz? Why isn’t he naked on camera yet? [source]

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