Thursday, June 05, 2008

Page Six reports that Brad Pitt is preparing for the birth of his twins with Angelina Jolie, the Twins of the Covenant, by spending enormous amounts of money. I mean, we already knew this based on prior reports that they had leased a mansion in France for $60 million. Now, Page six reports that he bought a table carved out of a single piece of marble for like $300,000.
I understand that rich people like Brad Pitt, as in, the inordinately rich who live in a strange world that is completely separate from reality because they are also the patron saints of contemporary western culture, they are the most beautiful people in the world, they give birth to the angelic, superhuman muses of tomorrow and they are also heroic humanitarian activists (I’m almost ready to hate them but I’m not quite there yet, I’m still transfixed by their super-ness), can spend money and buy things that seem out of reach. I mean, obviously that’s the case.
What I don’t understand is why they spent 60 million dollars leasing a mansion in France when surely the mansion would have just cost that much to buy. I mean, how much WOULD it cost to buy a mansion in France? I mean, the kind of 20 bedroom extravaganza that the children of the Zeitgeist need. I just can’t see it costing 60 million. Ok, so, great Brad Pitt – you just spent 60 million and you don’t even own the place. Great.

Plus, this freaking table. I mean, it’s interesting and everything but I’m worried that after they get the 300,000 dollar table and the aluminum carpet which sounds more like a glorified kitchen scourer frankly, that there won’t be any money left for Christmas presents. Or furniture for the rest of the house. There literally are over 15 or 20 bedrooms and they all need furniture. I would hate for the place to be left empty.

Once I went to visit a friend of my aunt’s who lives in a Chateau in Normandy. The entire place was this stunning medieval castle but it was filled with basically a couple of fold out chairs and a plate of vegetable samosas. It was mildly disappointing. I expected sweet liqueurs, French imperial furniture and cuckoo concerts and all I got was a cigar and a coal roasted duck breast which was admittedly pretty good. There was a torture chamber underneath the place but I think they used it as a storage facility. I say I think. Plus, I was a little attracted to the guy’s lesbian daughter. I don’t think he knew she was a lesbian. She was really pretty like a pretty guy but she was a girl. Sort of like a short Jonathan Rhys Myers. Plus she was extremely polite.
Anyway, I just hope Brad Pitt watches his money because right now I’m not convinced he is making informed decisions. [source]

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