Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bless the UK’s Sun. And not just for being a reliable source of some of the basest journalism available. No. I would like to thank them right now for bringing forward pictures of Pete Doherty realizing his cathartic dream to be portrayed as a Christ-like martyr.

Most of the time you don’t get celebrities going so far as to portray themselves as actual Christ figures. Of course they all think it but I mean, even the most delusional narcissists wouldn’t say it. I mean, Tom Cruise sort of does and then you have the odd cult leader but most of them of late have been linked to paederasty so it’s hard to really interact with them on any level without feeling vile.

Pete Doherty has managed to market himself as an heraldic martyr though. Pete Doherty feels that by making a plaster cast of his entire body in a crucified position, he’s somehow explaining what it’s like to be beaten down by the media. Then we’ll all understand the pain he goes through.

It’s not his fault that he is portrayed so badly. It all gets blown out of proportion.

I think I started siding with the media when it became clear that Pete Doherty got his kitten addicted to crack. That, for me, was an indication that he was probably Satan. I mean, how do you talk your way out of that? Kitten: eternal symbol of childhood innocence, Crack: poisonous, cheap, life destroying drug, Pete Doherty: the glue that brings the two together.

Even if Pete Doherty is only HALF as bad as he seems he’s still pretty bad. And by bad I mean, a potential husband. I mean, look at the photo above: he's smoking while lying on the cross. I just think that's inappropriate. Oh, look at that. My inner moralist just popped out.

Just to re-cap, Pete Doherty is making a plaster cast of his entire body so that he can make a sculpture that shows him being crucified. Crucified as he has been by the media. There’s a lot of symbolism involved in this. I have a degree in art so I can figure it out pretty easily. God, ok, actually, this is one of those stories where it’s hard to parody it or anything because it’s so amazing already. I’m sort of torn. [source]

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