Friday, June 13, 2008

Page Six reports that the suspiciously good looking Mario Lopez of “Saved by the Bell” fame, who doesn’t look a day older than when he was on TV as an 18 year old, was just passed over for a 2(x)ist Underwear campaign because they chose a younger, hotter guy named Nick Adams. Look at the photo above. Lopez is on the left, Adams is on the right. You can see the difference in arm hotness. Wow, even his NAME is hotter. I mean, sort of.
Also, the name Adam for me will always conjure up images of a naked guy. I have Christianity to thank for that.

Anyway, wow, how CRUEL of Page Six to hammer this out. I mean, the underwear contract part is just business so you have to not worry about it but the actual column item is, by virtue of the fact that it was printed, actually really cruel and Page Six doesn’t let up on poor, adorable Lopez.

The report begins by detailing how, in a manner not unlike Joan Crawford – no exaggeration I’m sure, even though I really have no idea but it should be fine to assume – Lopez has insisted that Adams be covered in a hoodie when he’s in certain scenes and that he not have his arms showing either. Then, all of a sudden, after all the competition, Adams totally trumped Lopez.

The thing that more or less makes this ok, is that it reveals that Mario Lopez clearly knows his strength. He’s just like Vin Diesel and Matthew Mcconaughey. Even though he can read the lines and blah blah whatever he does on screen, the fact that he’s still employed is remarkable anyway but if and when he does get a job, the primary reason he’s working is because of his rockin’ bod. A girl’s gotta protect her main assets.

I say “girl” because really, this is the gayest catfight story to hit the news since Boy George and George Michael and Elton John started lashing out at each other. Poor Mario. I have no doubt that he’s on HGH. I mean, a career based on meat has got to be really stressful. Maybe he should try St. John’s Wort. [source]

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