Friday, March 07, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Vietnam has launched a crackdown on hamsters, a wildly popular pet here in the current lunar Year of the Rat, fearing an influx of the foreign-bred rodent furballs could spread disease and destroy crops. The thing about hamsters is, though, that they’re such crap and uninspiring pets that far before you start worrying about disease and the destruction of crops, if there’s an influx of them or they’re outrageously popular, you really need to start worrying about what the hell is wrong with people if they’re so into them. I mean, fuck, they’re just little pseudo rats who sit there and nibble. They’re just nibblers. That’s all they do! They nibble and cower in the corner. Yeah, they’re nibblers and cowerers. If you ask me, the cracking down on hamsters has come at no better time and by that I mean anytime. "Destroying them all is really a big problem," agriculture ministry official Nguyen Thanh Son was quoted as saying. "I think the Vietnam animal health department should take some samples, conduct tests and see how dangerous the hamsters in Vietnam really are." Yeah. Look, I don’t WISH death on them, I just think that people should start thinking about more interesting things than hamsters. Plus, you’ve got to be having a slow day if you’re an agriculture minister and you’re talking about the danger of hamsters. [source]

A state-run pharmacy chain in Sweden has announced it will begin carrying sex toys after many customers requested the items. Apparently they did a survey of what people wanted and everyone said massage oils and dildos and so the government went, sure. And here we have the polar opposite of the United States. If a state run anything even mentioned the word sex in the US, armies of sexually complex middle class parents and Christians would take to the streets protesting at the decline of “moral values”. And then later on they’d secretly go to a sex club and beat each other senseless wearing leather masks but they wouldn’t talk about that. So, yet again, Sweden is refreshingly progressive. Actually I think that sex toys are now illegal in Arkansas or Kansas or something. Guns are still legal but dildos aren’t. So, that’s great isn’t it. Take THAT Sweden, at least America’s not going to hell. [source]

Just as they have done for the past 3 years, 150 young women raced down Amsterdam's most famed fashion street in stiletto heels Thursday, racing for a $15,000 prize. Last year a man joined the race and it was all very political because you know those Dutch Sex and the City wannabe bitches were on the war path and they were ready to break ankle to get that money. Put together the elements of money and competitive women and you get crippling bloodshed at every turn! Hooray! This year Tamara Ruben, 25, from the town of Veenendaal, claimed first prize in the 380-yard race, running so smoothly you might think she was wearing sneakers. Asked how she would spend the money, she said: "Anything but high heels." And with a dry cool wit like that she could be an entertainment lawyer. [source]

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