Today in Extraordinarily Odd
I wanted pictures today but the server was being an asshole and so I'm just posting the words. Pictures to follow later on.
With 60% less Catholics going to confession, the Vatican has had to begrudgingly drag it’s delusional morally Paleolithic ass out of the dark ages a little bit to retain a bit of relevance in the 21st Century and as such, they’ve just announced their new list of sins that you have to try and avoid. What a freaking surprise they’re all about the environment (I will never doubt the clout of a celebrity again. Al Gore, you sincerely have made a massive dent in the public’s bored disinterest in the environment – “green” culture is hot right now and that’s a good thing). Apparently, now it’s against God’s law to cause “environmental blight” and the Vatican now uses solar energy where it can. Still, in case you were worried that the Catholic church might suddenly be getting a clue – they’re still against stem cell research so that’s reassuring. Can’t take rational thought too far or all of a sudden maybe the pay checks will stop rolling in. No news on what happened to limbo by the way. All those families whose unbaptized stillborn children apparently went into Limbo for 700 years until limbo was abolished a year or so ago get nothing. [source]
Hundreds of dogs, many dressed as babies or clowns, were taken to celebrate Catholic mass in the Nicaraguan town of Masaya on Sunday, an annual ritual where the owners pray for their pets to be cured or avoid falling ill. That’s a nice thing too seeing as people apparently aren’t so interested in being really whole heartedly Catholic anymore. Perhaps Catholicism’s new market is with pets. I mean, they can’t argue back, they do what they’re told most of the time and they can be trained to rob their owners of cash to pay for salvation. Just like people have been doing for years. I don’t know why I’m so annoyed by religion today. I mean, it might just be general annoyance. There’s the light jazz that has piano and alto sax solos to my left and a little while ago there was that crappy smell of meat that reminded me of eating at the house of someone who hit their peak in the 50s. Those two things are kind of enough to inspire rage but at the same time, whatever. I’m sort of over both now and for some reason I’m really tired. [source]
Vladimir Putin told German Chancellor Angela Merkel on Saturday he'd given presents to his wife for International Women's Day, but joked he would breakfast with her. Ok, great. Here’s the thing. This isn’t actually a story and yet it ran on AFP, Reuters, and the International Herald Tribune. The guy didn’t say anything except “I gave her presents, but we will have breakfast together," Putin responded, despite the fact that their meeting started at around lunchtime.” Despite WHAT fact? It makes complete sense that he’d make breakfast and then go to meet with Merkel at lunch. What’s the fucking story here? I bet Putin’s wife is some high maintenance jewel clad woman who looks like Anita Eckberg meets Suburbia. I need her to have a low voice and to be good at sport. So, in short, it’s a slow news day for basically everyone. [source]