Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Chinese parliament opened today and that meant that a whole lot of important people turned up in an entire array of the most astonishing outfits you can imagine. I always thought that China’s parliament had banned color – I mean, I wasn’t sure but I just figured that they would somehow argue that color leads to independent thought and if you engage in that one things leads to another and BANG! Suddenly the Beijing Olympics would turn into a teenager’s birthday party where everyone gets a little drunk and starts whining about being depressed. A couple of people go outside and make out even though they don’t really want to and someone throws up in the bathroom while Fall Out Boy plays really loud. Apparently not. “It's really pretty, right? I wear this in daily life, though a much simpler version," said Yang Jinsong, a Naxi from the southwestern province of Yunnan, dressed in an exquisite deep turquoise dress. "It's very comfortable. I designed it myself," she added. "I love getting dressed up in this." Yes. Isn’t it funny how in China when you want to put on a turquoise dress you get to do it in parliament but if you do it in New York you end up working in a shitty Chinese restaurant in the East Village with a bunch of ma├ím sirs who have to do lap dances for fat stupid brides from New Jersey. Hmmm, maybe China is onto something. [source]

A 101-year-old man has his sights on the London Marathon in a bid to become the world's oldest competitive runner. Working plumber Buster Martin ran Sunday's Roding Valley half marathon in Essex in five hours 13 minutes, and is now focusing on London's 26-mile event. I’m sorry but you know what? Old people have it easy. Sure they may have arthritis and a desperate need to talk about the war all the time and sure, they may totally love eating bland food that always smells like boiled lamb fat and yes, they may always seem to have houses that smell like Cedel Hairspray but so what? If they want to get a little notoriety all they have to do is mention how old they are and then do something anyone else would do. “Hi, I’m Eunice. I’m 106 years old, I knew Roosevelt and I am planning on being the world’s oldest ATM user.” Oh, and look! She actually is! Quick give her a freaking three record deal with Columbia and her own show on Bravo. [source]

So far this week is interesting because 50% of the days we have been through so far have featured the discovery of interesting things to do with sea dwelling animals. Today, Scientists have discovered an Antarctic fish species that adopts a winter survival strategy similar to hibernation. The fish is called the Antarctic 'cod' Notothenia coriiceps and it basically just zones out when it gets too cold in the Antarctic oceanic areas. Isn’t that nice? Apparently it does that because 30 million years ago it was a warm water dwelling fish and then it was separated from its warm water relatives. 30 million years later it’s still not quite over it. No wonder if goes to sleep – sleep is an emotional defense mechanism. I wondered if my fish sleep yesterday. I stood there look at them and they were so lively and excited that I wondered if they ever had down time. I’m still wondering actually. The cat fish is depressed so it never comes out of the filter and the male guppies are out of control. They flirted with the female guppies so much that the females died of exhaustion. Then the shark ate the corpses of the female guppies. There’s a lot going on in that little ecosystem and I have to believe they get tired. [source]

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