Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Benny Shannon, a professor at Jerusalem's Hebrew University, where he was head of the psychology department, believes that key events of the Old Testament are actually records of visions by ancient Israelites high on hallucinogenic drugs and frankly, I think that’s the most rational reading of the Old Testament I may have ever heard. Apparently the area in the Middle East in which Moses lived is riddled with hallucinogenic plants and so heaps of people just went tripping all the time back then. I mean, what else were they meant to do? They were in the middle of the desert, they ate lamb and wine and oil and bread. I mean, you’re going to get sick of that after a while so why not visit an alternate universe through nibbling a plant? And besides, the guy wrote that he saw a burning bush that never decomposed in the flames. If he wasn’t a complete charlatan he was on acid. End of story. [source]

Eight British soldiers have been forced to return home from Norway after they reportedly stripped naked and urinated on each other in a bar during an Arctic training exercise, the British Defence Ministry confirmed Tuesday. “They were drunk and there was a problem in the bar, but we are quite used to dealing with British soldiers like this," Harstad police spokesman Gair Pederson was quoted by the Daily Mail as saying. I certainly hope that the soldiers managed to deal with that problem although it seems like they were well on their way to solving it what with news of them getting naked and urinating on each other. That’s the best way to solve social conflicts. Particularly when you’re part of a Spartan-esque group of men who all have to get drunk as hell to be able to express their affection for each other in weird assed ways. Still, it’s really no different to footballers or bricklayers or a group of friendly rapists. Still, I love the idea of going to see your family after you’ve been sent home and having to explain what happened. “Well, we got drunk in Norway, everyone got naked and then naturally we pissed all over each other. I mean, what?” and the family nod in agreement, “Yeah, sounds perfectly English military to me.” Could there be a more repressed group than English soldiers? Maybe some hard core Chelsea queens but even they relax enough to be penetrated once in a while. [source]

The world's first "Hexapus" has been found off the coast of north Wales, according to marine experts. A Hexapus is an octopus except it has 6 legs. They named this one Henry. Everything about this story is totally reassuring and great. Firstly, who can go past a good animal discovery story? Correct, no one. This is an actually interesting animal, not just some slow assed d-list rodent from the jungle. Also, they named it Henry and not something like “Orca” or” Mai Ling”. Also, admittedly enough, I do enjoy a nice seahorse with a Japanese name every now and then, I’m the first one to admit that. ALSO – it’s not really a breed of octopus – it’s just a genetic mutation. That’s kind of a bit of a disappointment but I doubt it will get in the way of a future in the pop music industry for Henry. He is a one of a kind. Excellent work young Hexapus friend. Now go take Hollywood by storm. [source]

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