Monday, March 17, 2008

Heather Mills and Paul McCartney have reached a divorce settlement and basically she gets a total of about £24.3 million. That’s about $US50 million. Because that’s what her time was worth when they were married. Her time was worth £12.5 million a year. What is she? A freaking gold plated psychic sex robot? Well, robot might be sort of on the right track. Maybe she is on the way to becoming all cyborg what with her leg and all.

Anyway, her settlement of £24.3million includes about £16million in cash and about £7million in assets and is inclusive of £500,000, referable to her overspending in the period of separation.

Yoko Ono must be so thrilled at this point because now, finally, she can be knocked down a peg on the ladder of people the English irrationally blame for the dissolution of the Beatles. The English are weird like that about the Beatles. They consider them Gods but at the same time they act like they’re in a marriage with them. It’s the UK as the blushing bride and the Beatles as the world weary groom. The whole thing is a little freakish.

It’s sort of like how Australia feels about people like Cate Blanchett and to a lesser extent, Naomi Watts but most certainly Heath Ledger. They used to feel that way about Nicole Kidman but Kidman is less and less “human” so they aren’t sure how to react to her anymore. They get really possessive and protective.

So, anyway – it’ll be interesting to see what Heather Mills is actually capable of at this point. She may very well disappear and start spending. I wonder how. That must be a real curse being hated en masse and yet having a lot of money. It’s like, you just want to go out there and spend up big and fill the crippling void with designer clothes and sumptuous meals but if you leave the house people spit on you and attack you with their canine attack canines. And that’s sadly what Heather Mills can look forward to.

Still, she could go to Dubai, buy a small island, live on it and jump on ebay. You can get anything on ebay. Seriously. Not porn, coke, hookers or prescription meds but anything else. [source]

1 comment:

ArchNoble said...

"What is she? A freaking gold plated psychic sex robot?"

So your combination of the most valuable things to a man includes psychics? It reminds me of what a small kid would wish for: the ability to guess lottery numbers.