Tuesday, March 11, 2008

American Rev Bob Larson – soon to be a star on British TV – has volunteered to save Amy Winehouse from self-destruction by “ridding her of the devil”. God, there’s a lot to be astonished by in just that one sentence.

There’s nothing more reassuring and far from complete, unadulterated moral corruption than an exorcist from America who appears on TV. I have always felt most comfortable paying for salvation by sending checks to some hack from the south and I’m glad the English are embracing the practice as well.

The interesting thing about this story in the Daily Star is that it’s managed to describe a show that seems to have a window into my soul just like the first season of Big Brother did in Australia several years ago. I’m astonished that they have managed to zero in on so many outrageously appalling elements in the one go. I’m not sure it could BE any more ludicrous. The Daily Star ran this:

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Star Sunday, the Rev Bob, who will seek the star out during a forthcoming visit to Britain, said: “Amy Winehouse is in my opinion possessed. She is obviously suffering from drug addictions and other problems but the likelihood is that is not all. People are more susceptible to being possessed when they have bruised souls and I think Amy is a classic example.”

Ok, so apart from the fact that Rev Bob was only able to muster up one interview in the media is hardly enough for it to be considered an exclusive, no, people who use drugs are absolutely not more susceptible to demon possession than other people. They’re more susceptible to things like death and disease because those are REAL GOD DAMNED THINGS. Unlike demons which were invented to explain mental illness and to heighten profits in the church.

Plus, I love that Amy Winehouse just happens to be totally marketable right now and so that’s who he goes for. He doesn’t go for any of the other celebs in say, “Dr. Drew Pinsky’s Celebrity Rehab” at all. Oh no, they’re not famous enough. He needs to go for the main ones. The big deal names. After all, he’s got a show to promote.

Ok, great. Let’s exorcise Winehouse and see what comes out. I hope whatever it is gets splashed all over Reverend Bob’s eyes. IN his eyes. Chunks of corn and white mucus. In eye. Good. [source]

1 comment:

nathan harris said...

I wonder why he didn't offer to help Brittany or Lindsey. Drug rehab will probably work better