Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Mariah Carey has just essentially fired her manager Bennie Medina and hired herself, E! online reports. It was suggested that while they’ll still work together on a few things, one of the reasons why Carey may have wanted to do that is because Medina was supposedly courting J Lo, Mariah Carey’s main rival.

God, there’s so much subtext and potential hilarity in this story, its astonishing Firstly, is Mariah Carey blind? What the hell kind of competition is J Lo? Nothing she has done in the last two years has been anything more than a tragic flop. Well, I suppose besides her appearance at jury duty which garnered her quirky, endearing press and giving birth to the twins which provided her with the income she missed when she failed to create anything worth listening to or watching.

Secondly, oh my GOD, this will be genius. There hasn’t been a maniacally insane pop cultural mega star without a staff member there to rope in the insanity since Tom Cruise fired Pat Kingsley. What a treat we’re in for. The minute Mimi puts on a little weight and the sanity begins to crumble it’s going to be a good old fashioned fireworks display of celebrity ego freak out. She’s already had a breakdown – there was the ice cream cart meltdown on TRL which has been taken down from youtube. Here’s the closest reference to it I can find:

SO – my point is, with more unicorns, rainbows and fucking whatever; fairies at the helm of Mariah Carey I would say that it’s safe to assume that we’re in for some really enjoyable cooler months when it comes to Mimi and her press.

OH – plus, like hell it’s as amicable as Carey is stating. She tore his face off, he threatened to tell the world she’s a delusional freak who still sleeps with Hello Kitty dolls, she breathed fire over his Maltese terrier, he told her she was really a size 16. Then, after they were exhausted, sitting there in the smoking rubble, their suit clad publicist came in and said, “look, we’ll just say that you’re still working on projects no one cares about.” Oldest trick in the book. [source]

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