Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Governor Sarah Palin, the great vaginal hope for the GOP, has revealed that her 17 year old daughter Britol Palin is pregnant and unmarried less than a week after she accepted the nomination for VP from John McCain, the Republican candidate. John McCain had to have thrown a chair across the room behind closed doors after that one came out.

So much for all that crap about being a social conservative, responsible Soccer Mom. I swear to GOD, I had to stop watching CNN the other night because all it was was Palin herself talking about how her parents worked with their hands, how she’s just a soccer mom, how she never wanted to run for office, how she’s not a member of the good old boys club blah blah blah OR it was one of her well placed friends on Larry King talking about how Palin was just a responsible, accessible soccer mom. What utter crap. She’s the governor of Alaska. Really? You’re just like everyone else? Well, why can’t they just get “anyone else” to be the GOP VP? I don’t care who you are, if you’re a Governor, you aren’t just a regular soccer mom, you’re an ambitious, omnivorous power hungry alpha character. But apparently, America wants a soccer mom to be second in command of the nation so that gets laid out there. I mean, Sherri Shepherd echoed the mainstream American viewpoint perfectly when she so brilliantly said, and I paraphrase, “you can’t discount the fact that she’s a mother to five kids and she ran the PTA – I mean, sometimes you can’t get chairs for those meetings”. Oh fucking hell. Ok, sure. Great. Yeah, fuck the fact that she has no experience running a nation, she’s got 5 kids. I mean, no one could do THAT unless they have a college degree. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Anyway – that aside – as if her lack of experience and incessant market research based fixation on explaining the extent to which she’s just like everyone else, the “here’s a vagina, isn’t that enough for you disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters?” candidate should be in for some real public hammerings, particularly seeing as the father of her kid’s child is a total grunting pig. On his myspace page he describes himself as a “fucking redneck” which, when you get down to it, will actually probably only help his Republican mother in law to be. Because, obviously, they’ll now get married EVEN THOUGH his myspace page says he doesn’t want kids. And a wild guess would say that America wants a gun totin’ fucking redneck as a son in law to the Second Family. It helps the American people relate and not feel so alienated from the officials who make huge, important decisions about massively complex things like foreign policy and the economy that they couldn’t possibly fathom. After all, the most important thing you can ask for in a leader is that they be just like you, not that they have immeasurable skill beyond your own. Because any old mother can be president but not just anyone can be a mother. Jesus, I need a drink some place where there are no children or mothers. [source] [source]

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