Friday, September 12, 2008

the Daily News reports that Lauren Conrad, from The Hills – oh – look at that, just writing her name is such a foreign feeling - has just signed a three book deal with Harper Collins. She will be writing a series called LA Candy which will be, let’s face it, a thinly veiled re-telling of her own completely nauseating and pointless morphing from just your average spoilt, self obsessed, white bread Republican LA based skank to recognizable spoilt, self obsessed, white bread Republican LA based skank. All those air head, shopping obsessed Hills girls are Republican because it keeps the checks from their fathers rolling in.

ANYWAY – this is a little like Kim Kardashian mulling over whether she’d be interested in releasing an album. There was no pretext of talent when it came to anything at all besides basic whoredom with Kardashian let alone actually performing for a CD that would be massed produced and distributed. Same deal here: what the fuck about Lauren Conrad ever even vaguely pointed to writing? I mean, she’s rabbited on about how she wants to do fashion which she started to do earlier this year. Christian Siriano summed her work up brilliantly then:

“It’s really sad that if I didn’t win Project Runway, I probably wouldn’t have the sponsors I have now. I would have never been able to do what they have done because they all have disposable income, and yet their work still isn’t that great! I mean, it’s fun and flirty and young, but they’re not innovators. None of them will ever be an innovative designer. Buyers and editors are looking for longevity, and hopefully they will see that in me.”

So, I’m just dying to see what crap she comes out with. I can just see the draft being full of sentences that end with question marks no matter what. Plus, her main character will be named something like Stacy or Jessica. She’ll have a black friend. She’ll be the tired, less edgy, LA, twentysomething version of Carrie Bradshaw but set in LA and there will be a lot of detail about shopping and fashion. [source]

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