Friday, May 02, 2008

Page Six reports that Gossip Girl’s Chase Crawford was seen out enjoying the fact that he’s not with Carrie Underwood anymore so he just flirt up a freaking heterosexual storm by flirting with as many women as he wants to now. What a stunning heterosexual flirter he is!

Why, just LOOK at what they report:

On Saturday night, Crawford sat "between two beautiful brunettes" at La Zarza in the East Village until 1 a.m. "flirting and taking shots of Patron." Then on Sunday, Crawford and his co-stars Penn Badgley and Ed Westwick had a boys' night at Stanton Social on the Lower East Side. Our spies there saw Crawford sipping blood orange margaritas and befriending his waitress.

Um, hi! This is so forced. Firstly, it’s far more likely that he was out bitching about Madonna’s new album with his two fag hag hangers on and then he went out to the Lower East Side and had the fruitiest cocktails possible with the boys while sassing up the waitress. My God, he probably just telling her she looked fierce and she flirted back because she was so sexually unthreatened.

I love these heavily calculated gossip items where the sweating yet imperious celeb publicist is just trying to hammer it into everyone’s skulls that their client is straight. Because inane, pointless finger pointing makes it just SO convincing.

I think Derek Jacobi dressed as a mild mannered office worker just took the elevator in front of me. He looked like he wanted to kill me. He definitely wanted to. It felt like he was forcing me to be Kenneth Branagh and he was…well, Derek Jacobi. He had his head back but was still looking forward. At me. And he never averted his eyes once. Right, I’m having all scissors removed from the building.

Chase Crawford is totally straight and hangs out with copious women and his heartily masculine co-stars in New York. Yep, I’m sold. [source]

No comments: