Thursday, May 08, 2008

Of all the things Barbara Walters talked about in her interview with Oprah on Tuesday, the topic that received the least amount of diplomatic glossing over was her rundown of the back story about Star Jones’ colossal weight loss. Star Jones, as we remember, was ass fat as an ox, she had the stomach stapling and then lost 160 pounds in a year and when she began to resemble a dehydrated shrink wrapped skeleton, claimed it was entirely because of diet and pilates. No one believed her. The women on The View had to follow Star’s lead and say it was because of diet and pilates but they all resented her for it.

SO – Walters spilled the beans about the back story and now Jones has predictably fired back.

"It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book. It speaks to her true character," Jones told Us Weekly magazine.

Actually, it’s a logical day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life brands herself as an adulterer and speaks negatively of Star Jones for the sake of selling a book. Barbara Walters got to where she is by eating people alive and if you’re as madly narcissistic as Star Jones is and you turn your wedding into an insane corporate celebrity circle jerk as she admitted she did and you lie about your surgery for months and months then you’re handing out gossip dish for people like Walters to use against you.

Why wouldn’t Barbara Walters say all that about Jones? She said more or less the same amount of negating information about herself.

Plus, Star Jones deserves a bit of slapping down. Not only did she force us to swallow her ludicrous marriage to a gay hustler, but just in general, she is an annoying, self absorbed, self promotional narcissist who still wishes she could be a cheerleader in high school. She’s just about the right weight now to try out though so why can’t she just go through with it and get it over with.

Well, there is one problem. What is she going to do about all that extra skin hanging off her shrink wrapped carcass? It’ll flap around in the wind during formations and might slap the other girls in the face. She should probably either peg it up with clothes pegs or alligator clips or just get it sawn off. Yeah, that’d be great. Then she can tell the public that she grew into her skin by using sea weed wraps and steam baths. Oh wait, the public doesn’t CARE anymore. Shit. [source]

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