Friday, May 02, 2008

Everyone’s favourite kindergarten faux punk diva product Avril Lavigne has apologized for canceling gigs because apparently her voice is shot. Here’s what she said:

“I am at home right now taking it easy. I have been sick this whole tour, and now I have lost my voice. I have never canceled a show in my whole career and just had to for the first time ever. This sux (sic)!
” I just played 4 shows in a row in Texas (which is a lot for the vocals) and woke up in Vegas Tuesday with no voice. I thought I was gonna have to cancel that show, but I made it through…..barely! I woke up yesterday and knew I wouldn’t be able to sing last night. My voice is so shot.

Yesterday, Perez reported that the reason she cancelled was because she got hammered in her hotel room with Boys Like Girls lead singer, the supporting act for her tour and was hungover and ruined.

Ultimately, who cares anyway because she’s so completely contrived she’s almost an icon of American culture. I mean, she should be studied and kept as an artifact of our TIME, she’s such a synthetic product. But, this could really go either way.

I mean, one, she could have been just tired and so they released the above statement – which I’m fairly comfortable suggesting Lavigne has never read – because, actually, can she read? Or two, she could have been drunk etc.

My thinking is, she got tired and is playing video games at home in her jammie jams and her producer leaked that story to Perez to make sure Lavigne still looks like the hard assed punk ass punk ass ass bitch ass punk she is to so many 8 year old girls who didn’t get that My Little Pony doll they were after last Christmas and now hate their parents so they’re acting out.

Isn’t her time up now? I mean, Britney Spears has trumped Lavigne in every single way possible since they both began. With no character to base herself on, why are we paying attention? The kids who liked Britney witnessed her breakdown, questioned the point of life and should be, by now, all disillusioned and discovering the Smiths. Lavigne is culturally irrelevant. Anyone anywhere could eat her alive and indeed, someone freaking should. [source]

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