Friday, May 23, 2008

Alright, so big surprise, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are setting aside 20 million dollars to have everything they need for the birth of the twins Jolie is carrying. It sounds like a lot but when you consider that the twins are the Twins of the Covenant, no amount is too small to pay. Their birth will herald the coming of a new golden age. I mean, that’s not new information and I’m assuming that a whole cult will form around the birth of the children.

Life and Style reports this breakdown of 20 million:

$332,000 is going toward a helicopter, which remains on call for when Jolie goes into labor* $3.3 million is the cost for the Florentine-style villa in the French Riviera that the couple reportedly rents* Nearly $100,000 goes to the nine cars the couple is renting.

That doesn’t add up to 20 million but look, who are we to question? I will not question the body carrying the Twins of the Covenant. Plus, that doesn’t detail how much they spend on security. Who pays for security? Is it the management company of the star? I’m assuming you can claim security costs on tax because it’s a “work related expense” but I mean, imagine if you were Tara Reid and you had no career but you had to have security so you didn’t get beaten to death.

Oh, GOD – so last weekend I was in Vienna and I was at a party with Debbie Harry and she had this bully ass fuck of a security guard who was such as ASS hole. I was pushed in line directly behind Blondie and he was so MEAN and pushy. I’m standing there going “look, I’m not going to do anything to your client…it’s a full room…just breathe…” but to no avail. So, I went on and tripped her over.

Just kidding. I didn’t bother to do that. I took photos of her looking like Faye Dunaway and sent them to media outlets everywhere.

So, in short, Brangelina are spending 20 million bucks on the birth of their twins but they aren’t actually building a medical wing onto their house – they’re just hiring 9 cars and a helicopter and then they’re renovating a villa they don’t own. Kick ass. [source]

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