Tuesday, May 20, 2008

And it begins.

Page Six reports that Mariah Carey’s husband Nick Cannon was out with his friends and he got a text message from Mimi who was demanding he come home by 1. She was obviously the one paying.

See, this is the real situation here. This is the real story of what it would be like to be married to Mimi. It’s not all free lunches, rides in Maybachs and a career in acting by association. No, it’s about living in a cage where you’re controlled relentlessly by the cripplingly needy ego of a woman who cannot give up control and who is as demanding and insecure and volatile as a volcano. Well, that was a crap metaphor but you know what I mean.

So, this is why it’s not a good idea for a woman like Mimi to marry anyone but her executive producer. She should have done like Celine Dion did. She should have never strayed from the main focus of her life and that is unbridled overcompensation for her fragile self esteem by performing generic, easily translatable music on a massive, global scale to hoards of people with a bit of cash who lack any internal critic.

Now Nick Cannon will be eaten alive, maybe even literally and Mimoo will be left alone and she’ll act out. And that’s not going to be pretty. It’ll be hilarious and amazing but not pretty.


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