Thursday, May 15, 2008

I’m just about to race out the door to fly to Vienna for the weekend because I’m covering the Life Ball on Saturday but before I do that Britney Spears is going to Costa Rica with Mel Gibson and her father, Jamie.

The Insider naively suggests that the two of them make an unlikely duo but I that’s completely ridiculous. I’m pretty certain that with her southern upbringing and her willingness to pretend to be an innocent virginal school girl who is actually a complete whore Britney Spears is a Republican. I mean, she’s probably as Republican as Jessica Simpson, Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag. Well, maybe more. Those three are just Republican because of their parents. Britney trusts that Bush should be let to do whatever he wants. Mel Gibson and Britney Spears as likely as Bush and Cheney.

The thing about these Republican celebrities is that they stick together. They stick together so they can keep the veiled threat of their existence alive. On the outside they do the whole Hollywood kiss kiss, smile, wave, “love you, mean it…” thing and then secretly they get together and plot. I’m pretty sure that’s what happening.

Mind you, whatever plot old drunk ass anti-semite asshole Gibson comes up with over a solid night of eating barbecued whatever with fat then thin possibly insane Brit would probably rival what I would imagine were the unpublishable bits of Hunter S Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”. Unpublishable because they were incoherent even for Hunter S Thompson.

I would NOT be surprised if Brit shows up at the Republican National Convention to perform for John McCain. She’ll show up and she’ll walk out in a white hood on a horse. Yes, that’s where she’s headed. For some reason I don’t see Jamie Spears as a Republican. Britney however will be feasting on the flesh of pregnant, black lesbian. Mel has it shipped in. [source]

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