Thursday, May 01, 2008

Now that president George W Bush is nearing complete cultural irrelevance, it seems like the pressure’s off him and he’s coming out with some quality work.

"We're going to send Jessica Simpson to the Democrat National Convention," he joked in front of members of the Super Bowl-winning New York Giants who were visiting the White House Wednesday.

Which is, as we know, a reference to the fact that Jessica Simpson is being blamed for every loss the Dallas Cowboys have as she’s dating Tony Romo. Now, while that’s irrational and unfair, if you’re a freaking dumb ass who is complete audience and never thinks, votes Republican and watches football on TV then it’s fair that you might have perhaps got the gist of Simpson’s recent relentless professional failure and then just generalized it onto everything she has ever been near.

Regardless, Bush’s new pop culture references are unusually good.

The other day, with reference to the White House Correspondent’s Dinner he was quoted as saying “Pamela Anderson in the same room as Mitt Romney, isn’t that a sign of the Apocalypse?” which is as self negating and clever as it is cross culturally referenced and cute. I mean, clearly, he didn’t write it himself and presumably the words were written out phonetically but still, he got all the words correct and it’s funny that he made humour out of the Apocalypse – something he lives in hourly fear of.

Anyway, maybe he can figure out a career as one of those talking heads on VH1. Actually, how DO you get to be on VH1 to do those shows? I really want to get on that bandwagon. I can write crap about how freaky Brangelina is.

My god, while there hasn’t been the smell of 50s meat and old Willy Loman who works out of a small office near me has kept the mindless small talk to a merciful minimum and has essentially stopped playing his fucking shitty MIND RAPINGLY bad light jazz shit, today everything smells like ketchup and my GOD I hate ketchup.

Actually, thanks to ketchup, my rage has been renewed: Fuck President Bush and his FUCKING clever pop culture references. Where was that cleverness at ANY other time in your fucking presidency you FUCK?


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